Victory over grief and loss and then some......

Please know, I am not sharing this so you feel sorry for us. I am sharing this so YOU KNOW you do not suffer alone. Someone once told me you don't have to look hard to find someone worse off than you. Its very true.

I don't know where to begin. Our family has gone through the meat grinder over the last twenty one years. Why 21? My dad suddenly passed away and he was my human rock. It started a domino affect of all the men in our family. We lost 4 in 7 years, Dad, Grandpa, my husband who was diagnosed with terminal cancer 3 months after I lost my dad. Then and my uncle. If I named everything that has happened, it would not only overwhelm you, but, have you walking away in disbelief. I don't even know the half of it as everyone was going through their own emotional/physical hardships while I was fighting my battles at home. But, I also recognize many of you have lived the same life just different circumstances. The devil has been pulling out all the stops in his attempt to destroy us. But, here we are, standing, beaten to a pulp, but, Victorious.

For me personally, every time I feel like I'm gaining ground. I get knocked down. So my path has been more like one step forward, two steps back. Most major purchases have some sort of major defect, our pets don't get old and die, no, they get a slow killing, expensive disease, then death. Too good of shape to put down, bad enough to drag out an illness with expensive RX/TX for years.....family issues, church issues, major health issues, back to back losses and unprocessed grief, attacks so stupid, it makes no sense. Horrible, abusive bosses, if you are one of them, Know GOD will punish you for their anguish. No time to breath! Death by 1000 cuts. Its been a head scratcher for decades now. How does anyone have such bad luck and oppression? We have done and prayed it all!

Frankly, now, I have learned to just go with it, there is no other choice. There is a reason, a season and in part a lifetime of challenging times. I wish I could encourage you all through your own. All I can say is, I get it, I feel your pain, its real. My advice, lean in hard to Jesus, the WORD, no matter what or you will get swept up into the chaos. We are all human, we get upset, I'm raising my hand too!! Do not allow this world to steal your most valuable asset, your joy, YOU!!!

Many can relate to this next statement. The devil has tried to kill me, corrupt me, my spirit or shut me up, my entire life. Some of it has clearly been to keep me humble, which I needed. Otherwise I would want for nothing (major) and not need GOD. The rest, as noted above.

Many of you have close family, your pets, horses, donkeys, goats, chickens, bunnies, always have that favorite, the one you connect with more than others. With that, there's always loss. It's part of life. We share one, five, ten, fifteen, sometimes twenty five -thirty years, even a lifetime with family and some of these beautiful creatures GOD has given us. With that said, the last fifteen minutes is always toughest as we watch them slip away. Many of you know what I'm talking about.

Sadly, we lost our last horse a few weeks ago. He suddenly became very ill. We did so many heroics over 2.5 weeks to try to save him. But, it was just his time to go. 30 years old, he was diagnosed with cushings/ PPID. It was a 5 year illness. We had him 21 of those years. His mission accomplished. He will have many awards for his service to our family. Deeply loved by each of us and all he met along the way. He was a very special guy. Cass Ole was his grandpa, The black stallion who was painted black for the movie. Your first meeting was a head to toe inspection of sniffing and nuzzling. Then, most likely, accepted. He shared the same graduation day as Charlie Kirk.

(I didn't even know who he was, before he died). But, the two of them passed away within a couple of hours of eachother. Maybe he was the horse Charlie rode out on. Everytime Charlie is brought up, I think of him, our horse. He was absolutely charming in everyway. He is deeply missed. Sounds like much of the world will miss Charlie Kirk. I have no comments on his situation. I did ask GOD about him since he was in the headlines for weeks. Still is....I posted his response in the October 5th message I posted.

Our daughters have been going through it as well, they regularly visit our furry family. One of them has a cat in liver failure, only a couple of weeks after she put one of her cats down. One of our dogs is very old, has end stage cushings and requires alot of hands on care. We help eachother out, but, the past few years, I have learned on them quite a bit due to my health issues, multiple surgeries, then recoveries etc. Its been taxing for all!

What I am trying to say, is our pets are theirs and visa versa....one big family, 2 houses. We love them and greet them as though they are our own. We have already lost 4 pets combined in less than a year. Not to mention the cost to care for them properly, medications, vet, family/work issues with us, surgeries for me, the extra burden they all carry because of that....This truly has been a challenging few years of time of trials and sorrow.

The pets and livestock all came in around the same decade, different ages and species, some abandoned by their families, with that, different lifespans because of illness and age. Most lived with us in the same house at some point.

Unfortunately, they are leaving us one by one. I wish I could say we don't feel it, its easier, we are used to it etc...none of that is true. Each one is so dearly loved and served to the end. Its been an honor to steward God's creatures. I wonder if its in preparation for what is coming. Its been so many in just 2 years!

Anyway, I was reading a book this morning and was reminded by the life, death and resurrection of Jesus. The battle has already been won. HE did that for us.

THE BATTLE HAS ALREADY BEEN WON!!! Get that in your brains! Me too!!!

So why do so many of us feel we have to fight to win? That life is a war rather than a gift? How can I get out of this grief cycle when everything is aging out around me? How do I manage the cruel bosses, the evil coworkers, the rude drivers, the high prices and low wages, the rest of it? We hear all the well meaning people trying to encourage us for a few minutes, then, back to this. How exhausting! Living like this is exhausting. I have seen it, been there.

Bottom line!!!

I feel this country is being judged for walking away from GOD. The state of this country starts with each of us. We dont need civil war to change the coarse of it, like the media wants and promotes. Remember, don't follow the masses. They are wrong. Did Jesus have 12 or thousands? Did Gidian have 30,000 or 300? How much effort did it take for the walls of Jerico to fall? How many people did GOD send into Niveniva? Jonah or thousands? Are you visualizing how GOD works? Let's throw Charlie Kirk in the ring. How many did he reach? One guy with a microphone. Sure he had support. One guy's voice created that organization.

If they can keep the "church" ignorant, they can move forward with their plans to destroy all of us! Divide them 1000 ways, curse them so they have so much on their plates, they cannot fight. Invent racism, promote immorality and trafficking. Campaign for sex changes on children under 18. Threatening the parents etc.

The "church" is where? The people are where? Oh its not my problem! Get your phones out while someone is getting beat up or murdered. Get your 5 seconds of fame. WHAT IF THAT WAS YOU? YOUR MOM OR YOUR SISTER, GIRLFRIEND, BESTIE? Are you whipping out your phone or whipping the perpetrator? I don't get this at all? Who knows, maybe its all fake to create outrage....

Consider this. What if the bible is fluid, living? If the people would come to himGOD/JESUS, rather than do it their own way, His judgments wouldn't fall. 100% true! It did not have to go like this. Its what each of us chose.

Yes, thats deep! Think about it. If the WORD is Jesus. Jesus is alive, what's to say HE cannot or did rewrite the WORD over time? You will hear it preached. Jesus was the same yesterday today and forever. That's when it comes to his righteousness. There is so much we do not understand nor are we privy to because the bible is messed with, incomplete and the missing parts demonized. Look into the historyof the bible. One can either accept status quo or study and learn what "they" arent teaching you! While I believe the bible is truly living beyond what we are told, I also believe that GOD relents, changes his mind when it comes to humanity. It's all over the bible. So what's to say, if humanity chose God, the Bible would say something different? In other words, maybe all the COMING judgments wouldn't be in there, because we wouldn't be a people who needed them. It's deep it's very deep. Think about it.

So if the change lives in us, isn't it worth a try? Why are we throwing up our hands and giving up? Look, I get frustrated just like anyone else and there are times where I just feel like i'm done, cooked, fried but, humanity is not wired that way. We are not wired to quit. That's the devil. That's the enemy of your soul telling you to quit, its not a solution. It's a lie.

Little "c" "christians" are being mislead by most of the churches and truly do not want the truth anyway. The Bible says that too. Why wont they, because, it means they have to change. Change what? EVERYTHING!!! Very few want that. They want to feel like they did their weekly duty, good to go, then, its back to the grind for another week of sinful or gray area living until the next sermon. That is why most churches feel like a peptalk rather than what are you doing, how are you feeling, what comes out of your mouth, how are you dressed, hows your prayerlife, fasting, do you repent immediately after you blow it or you just one of those GOD knows my heart people?

The biggest question weighingon humanity, will Jesus say depart from me, I never knew you or enter into the joy of the LORD? Folks!!! If those basic things don't line up in your own life, YOU ARE IN SPIRITUAL TROUBLE!

What if we changed our minds and fought our battles from a place of victory? In every aspect of life! What if we decided we did not want to go into eternity without GOD? What does that look like?

Every human being has written on their hearts the difference between right and wrong, God's spirit in them. What they choose to do with it is the outcome of where they are in life. There are also human beings which are called tares/vipers. Inherently evil. Belonging to the synagogue of satan. I do believe that God's mercy goes way beyond what we will ever understand. IN OTHER WORDS, THERE IS A PATH TO SALVATION FOR EVEN THEM. THE PATH IS the same for everyone, Jesus, The Christ. We are not the judge of them, GOD is.

I truly believe we are in the time of sorrows. And I don't know about you, but, our family has been suffering from tremendous grief over the last few years. The best way I can recommend doing this is to recognize, it is only goodbye for now. If you belong to Jesus, that is the truth. You will see your loved ones again, pets and even your favorite wildlife. Those who belong to Him and probably a few you did not expect. Grief is hard, right now many in our nation grieve for Charlie Kirk, for his family along with their own personal losses. In this economy there are many other losses, jobs, homes, cars, fallout from the Covid-19 vaccine...etc. that too!

Regardless of what did or did not happen. Charlie's time here is done. It doesn't matter what you or I think about this, how or why, false flag or not. It changes nothing. His time was done, he is gone. GOD has a perfect plan for all of this. What I find interesting is the fact that the enemy fails to understand the resilience of humanity. This is why he has tried to destroy us in everyway. Food, water, medicine, clothing, environmental. All of it!!! Death by 1000 cuts. Reads like Hosea 4:6. A multi-layer passage.

When one gets taken down ( a Charlie), thousands will rise up. This battle is not physical. I wish people would get that. Some think more violence will cure the violence that just took place. You know, the coming civil war the UN, WHO, NATO and the traitors seated in our own nations, world wide want. If we kill eachother, they will have less decenters to deal with. Last I saw was the USA is ONE NATION UNDER GOD. "They" have done a great job of dividing everyone. So much so, we cannot have the conversation in some places. This is not the Country I grew up in.

I have told most of you what you already know, a reminder. Maybe some of it will help you. Change how you see, live, treat others.

Are you ready for the cure? You have heard plenty about my journey.... Are you ready for victory??? Are you ready to take back the victory you already have in your back pocket? Are you ready to stop asking for what already belongs to you? We have been hoodwinked, and it's time to recognize our error and move forward. God is waiting for each of us.

Here's the good news. The power lies in each of us, in you. The bible says so, we have plenty to work with..... So how about we believe that book that was left for us two thousand years ago, and then some? How about we look at the ancient texts, what was left to us? What's been hidden? How about we look into the apocrypha? God will never steer you wrong. It's when you involve other people that you get into trouble. Everyone is fallible. So that is why we each need to lean on the holy spirit to guide us in these times. The bible says you will know the truth will set you free. So how about taking your freedom back. Stop living in fear. Fear is demon food. Stop feeding them.

Lets, start with you. Then add one or two people. Mathew 18:20 NIV

20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

The battle is won with repentance, then forgiveness. Without these two actions you walk with no power. You must do these two in order to move forward in your walk. Use the WORD of GOD to defeat the enemy. Its like throwing acid on them. They hate it. It's demon repellent. That is how we win. We stand against evil, in our own churches, our schools, homes, neighborhoods, counties, states and so on. Demand righteousness because we are righteous. Judge the fruit around you, not them. All this evil being spewed over the nation must be put back in the pit where it belongs. It starts with you and I. Silence will only allow this to continue. Put the WORD out there to stop them. Words, just words. No violence needed.

Study love because love conquers all. Hate, fear and anger never got us anywhere. Pray and ask God to give you love the gift of love. Confess to God that you don't love him enough. And ask him to teach you and give you that heart of love, that He intended for you to have in the beginning.

Ecclesiastics 3:1-8 BSB

To Everything There Is a Season

1To everything there is a season,

and a time for every purpose under heaven:

2a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

3a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to break down and a time to build,

4a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

5a time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

6a time to search and a time to count as lost,

a time to keep and a time to discard,

7a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

8a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

As we all mourn for our losses, let us remember not to allow grief to spin us out, into a depression. Go through the process, feel it, don't mask it with drugs, put it in a box, overworking or anything else in excess. Grief is its own animal. Its subjective, its different for everyone. GOD has provision for this.

Don't forget about the others who have lost their same friend or family member. They lost too!! My brother in law apologized years later when he realized he wasn't the only one grieving for my husband. The girls lost their dad. He felt awful when he came to that realization. People don't think beyond their own grief sometimes because their loss was so great. In that case, they were very close.

When it comes to your animals, don't forget your companion animals who lost their friends. You are their world, but, their companions are with them 24 x 7. They are in their own world inside yours. We have watched our horses grieve for their companions several months. Our dogs too. Everyone feels grief and they feel yours. Comfort one another. Spend extra time loving eachother. If you lost your only pet, KNOW, there is another out there that needs you. Grieve your loss and move forward KNOWING THIS IS ONLY GOODBYE FOR NOW. Then, allow someone else to love you through your grief, when you are ready. It is very healing. You are opening your home to an animal in need. The shelters are full of them. The pain never goes away completely, but, we have found the others, (if you are a multi-pet household) seem to rally around us and we go through it together.

Move forward, through your season of grief. Find purpose. Whether that is serving people or animals, needs are everywhere. It really does help to take a break, think of others, serve something other than yourself. Pick up the phone, call a friend or family member, they need it too.... Meet someone for lunch. If you truly need help, find someone that aligns with Jesus, the bible, GOD, who can give you more intensive guidance. Don't ignore your needs. We did go through a several week class called griefshare when we lost dad. It was extremely helpful for our family. Corny presentation back then, (that made it funny. When we got home, we always joked about it) but, it was comforting to have a group to share our grief with, (not necessarily talking about it, more of a comforting in silence). We had social time afterwards. Even made some friends who helped me get through those seasons. I went through it twice for two close losses back then.

Finally- PRAY

I've been there. Many times. I had nothing to say but HELP. start there. It takes a minute. Sometimes we are so grief stricken, thats all we got. That is ok!!! 1000 times ok!!! Start the process of healing through GOD.

If you are going through a terminal illness or the caregiver of one that is going through a terminal Illness, do not ignore God jump in, deep. Listen to the word. Allow people to rally around you. It was the only saving grace for us when my late husband was so sick, almost 3 years of that. Now, I know why. He loved Jesus so much, he really did.

Remember our battle has already been won. You may have disheveled hair, look like you have crawled over broken glass, soaking wet from stress, waded through swampy ground, caked with blood and mud to get here. You have won, you are still standing. Stop asking for what belongs to you.

This life is so much bigger than you and I. When "they" say, look here, your response should be, look around you. "They" the synagogue of satan, want you to remain ignorant in your "Christian" walk. Look around you. Look outside your 4 walls, their lies, covenants, codes and restrictions they boxed you into. Again, this is much much bigger than what we have been told or taught. Its up to us to find it.

Has anyone said this over your pulpit???

Hosea 4:6 BSB

6My people are destroyed

for lack of knowledge.

Because you have rejected knowledge,

I will also reject you as My priests.

Since you have forgotten the law of your God,

I will also forget your children.

Look around you! Ask GOD to show you. HE will.

Remember people come and go throughout your life. For a reason (angel?), a season or a lifetime. Those ones that come through for a reason, probably don't need you, but, the rest of them probably need you just as much as you need them.

Also- Show your appreciation to someone today, even if it's just the checkout clerk, you'd be surprised how much they light up when you say, "Thank you for serving me today". "Thank you for being here today, without you I wouldn't be able to do what i'm doing". That may be the only nice thing they hear today.

I don't want to end this without saying that GOD has done some amazing things in the last twenty one years. Again, you would be completely blown away. One could walk away scratching your head thinking, wow, is this really true? GOD has blessed me with an amazing man, our INCREDIBLE children. Given us relationships, healing , prohecies, dreams, just able to hear his voice, AMAZING!!! Can't ask for anything more. I wouldn't choose another group of people to navigate what we have experienced in the past 21 years. There are many things in this life that are true blessings and have nothing to do with material. The spiritual aspects that one gains from walking with Jesus Christ over the years is one that brings tears to my eyes, when I think about it. To be able to hear his voice and deliver messages to all of you has been such an honor and a blessing. I do apologize for not posting regularly these days. My life has been upended.

We truly serve a good GOD and I know when we are all going through hard times, trials, tribulations it's hard to see that, it truly is. To some people, that's the last thing they want to hear when they're going through a hard time. Maybe because they don't believe it's for them? If I would leave you with anything, I would say I am eternally grateful for our children, my husband. God gave me a second chance at love, a wonderful home to live in and neighborhood. All these furry critters that I have been surrounded with my entire life, from wildlife all the way through to livestock and everything in between, we've had them all. It's truly a joy, and that joy comes from what money cannot buy. So take time, enjoy what's around you? Be grateful for everything that you have. In fact, I'll challenge you with this. If you woke up tomorrow morning with everything you thanked GOD for today, what would you wake up to? List 5 things you are thankful for every day!

This life isn't easy and we will all live through many trials and tribulations. We can face them kicking and screaming or from a place of victory.

Consider this a job interview for the kingdom of God. In my opinion, that is what this is.

My daughter made this art project for me several years ago and I have it hanging in my bathroom and I'll share it with you today:

When life is more than you can stand-KNEEL.

Until next time- GOD be with you and yours.

Warning from above-Roxanne